Shattered
by Dusk Falling
Summary: On the outside, she was the cool, strong, collected Catherine Willows she always was, but on the inside, her world was shattering. Takes place during "One To Go", Grissom's final scene. Catherine-centric. Hinted C/S


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but if I did, Catherine would have been with Sara instead of Grissom.

A/N: Well, more angst as usual XD I'm not even sure I would call it a OneShot, it's so short, but I wanted to post it anyway, lol. This is what happens when I can't sleep… Anyway, this takes place during Grissom's final scene. I changed a few minor things, but you'll see why. It's not really enough to be super noticeable, anyway. Oh, and this was _supposed_ to be CS if anybody can't tell.

* * *

Catherine slumped down into her chair, head in her hands and her elbows resting on the edge of her desk. She watched Grissom's retreating form as he said goodbye in his own way, leaving what remained of his team and Las Vegas behind forever. She had gotten wind of his departure—to be with _her_, she knew—and it shattered her already broken heart.

Everything had started falling apart since Sara's kidnapping. Catherine wasn't sure what she would do if they didn't find her in time, but somehow they did. They found Sara alive, but Catherine noticed the change in her. A part of her had died out there in the desert along with the Miniature Killer. Sometimes she wondered what would have happened if they had done things differently; if they hadn't found Ernie Dell at all.

And then she left. Catherine had seen it coming, really, but nothing could have prepared her for it. She didn't think she could go on after that, but somehow she did. Somehow she managed to go on from day to day numbly.

There were so many things she wished she could have said. Could have done. She hadn't even said goodbye…

But she managed to survive. She wasn't sure how, but she did. Things were finally starting to get back to normal around the lab…

Then Warrick was murdered. What little normalcy she had managed to conjure up shattered in that instant. Again, she didn't think she could make it. She didn't think she could keep going, as if nothing had happened. But, again, somehow she managed to ghost her way through life.

She didn't deceive herself into thinking everything would be alright this time. Warrick was the rock that held their little group together. What were they going to do once he was gone? She never got her answer, but somehow they did.

Things weren't the same around the lab anymore. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her. She noticed it, but never called anyone out on it. It was just as well. She felt like she was living in a glass house and even the tiniest of cracks would shatter it forever. When that happened, she knew it would be irreparable.

Then the final straw was placed, breaking the camel's back—Grissom was leaving.

She didn't know if it was the fact that he was leaving that bothered her more, or that she knew he was leaving to be with the woman who stole her heart. He was leaving to be with Sara. She knew then that her final hope had just flown out the window of her broken glass home.

This time she knew there would be no fixing it. No making things better. No returning to the life she once had. There would be no Nick and Sophia to save Sara just in time. There would be no shoulder to cry on when she needed it. There would be no second chances now.

It was what he wanted, though. This is what Grissom wanted and she was sure it was what Sara would want as well. She just wanted Sara to be happy. She wanted them both to be happy, and if that meant she would have to give up on what little hope she had left, then that's what she would do.

But even as Grissom walked by Catherine's office, she couldn't bear to speak what was on her mind. She couldn't tell him to stop. She couldn't beg him to stay. She couldn't do anything but give him the best smile she could muster and a small wink.

On the outside, she was the cool, strong, collected Catherine Willows she always was, but on the inside, her world was shattered.


End file.
